But these will flatten your target on their back and wallow in self-pity. Im glad to see youre not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance. Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? 32. I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you. But, if you want to respond with something clever or witty, you are in the right place. Worse, you don't want them to have the last word, So, we've compiled a list here of 100 comebacks that you might want to use the next time your friend hurts you or makes you mad. "I'd call you guy, but I don't want to get hit by your man purse." 87. Girl: Shut up. 10. Category: Movies We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Im not saying that I hate you, but Id unplug your life support machine to charge my mobile. He also chases his tail for entertainment. Girl: Shut up. Guy: Im all youve got cutie pie.Girl: Then I must not have a lot. Don't like my sarcasm, well I don't like your stupid. But it seems that you already have. I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. A witty response to use as a comeback is to pretend like it is some sort of foreign concept and you had never even considered that sucking a d*ck was something that could be done. You have your entire life to be a jerk.Why not take today off? It is only several hours after the argument does a comeback come to mind. Guy: Your place or mine?Girl: Both. If youre going to be a smartass, first you have to be smart. My friend thinks he is smart. Don't hold yourself back from saying what you're thinking. 54. Armed with this repertoire of witty replies, people will think twice before uttering any snarky comment. 99. Boy: "Life's a bitch, just like you." Girl: "Actually life is short, just like your dick." Big Guy: Your dick's so small, it's like a tic-tac. You shouldnt act hard-to-get when youre already hard-to-like. That is where most accidents happen. Ill never forget the first time we met. Guy: But I dont know your name.Girl: Thats in the phone book too. i will make a cartoon for you Can I bring you a juice box instead? Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. The Truth About Six Pack Abs by Mike Geary Review, Make Women Want You: 3 Steps To Attract Women, Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever, Reunited Relationships M3 System Review, Stroke Of Genius By Cassidy Lyon A Detail Review, What is Einstein Success Code about? Tomorrow isnt looking good either. Your email address will not be published. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people. 2. How do you make the nostrils come out like that? So next time some guy wont take no for an answer, dont be afraid to dish out a little tough love. This comeback is witty because it takes the negative rude energy of smd and sends it right back to them by implying youre having a relationship with their mother. This is another witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. Stupidity isnt a crime, so youre free to go. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. Yb Better + Ratio + Loud = funny bozos (Suggest sum stuff you would want me to upload in the comments), The ultimate Gears of War soundboard featuring clips from your favorite COG and Locust characters. 88. if i want to kill myself I will increase your ego and jump to your IQ level. I know I make stupid choices, but youre the worst of all my choices. Its okay, keep talking. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. "Your wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead." I can lose weight, but youll always be ugly. 13. A clever response can be to pretend to not understand the statement. Id love to insult you, but I wont do as well as nature did. I think you already know that you are a social worker. Can I ignore you another time? You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white. You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school. You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you. You are so stupid, youd trip over a cordless phone. You are so stupid that if I gave you a penny for your intelligence, Id get change back. You may be a beautiful person on the inside, too bad you were born on the outside! Your secrets are always safe with me. Me neither. I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you. 94. you grow on people But then again, so does cancer. "Just because your on your period doesn't mean you can be a bitch." Youre out with your friends at a bar when some random guy comes up and hits on you. Oops, my bad; I could've sworn I was dealing with an adult. In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, finding time to unwind is becoming more of a luxury than a necessity. She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." "Stupidity really agrees with you." Hold still. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! Shhhh, please keep quiet while the adults talk. 90. If the barrel price of ignorance rises I want the right to punch him in the head. How else would you understand me? Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons? You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. Nah, youll be fine. Im not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire and I had a bucket of water, Id probably drink it. So let's dive right in. Boy: Fuck you, you little bitch! He could look through a keyhole with both eyes. (dtmandd ) adjective. Youre living proof its possible to live without a brain. Thanks for helping me understand that. Keep talking. Here are 11 . Oops, my bad. The witty comeback works because it is implying that the persons d is dirty and you dont want to be anywhere near it. So next time you find yourself in a heated debate, dont sweat it. Never mind, its too long." "You bring everyone a lot of joywhen you leave the room.". I will sue my parents if I have a face like you. Boy: Fuck you, you little bitch! Youre so dumb, I bet your dog teaches you tricks. I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. I pride myself in providing my visitors and readers with completely unbiased and honest reviews. Because so did Satan! "If I had a fuck to give, I wouldn't waste it on your problems." If you dont want a sarcastic answer, dont ask a stupid question. This is why everyone talks behind your back. Somewhere, somehow, you are robbing a village of their idiot. Feb 15, 2013 - Image discovered by Ins. 25 Savage Comebacks Found In the Comments 14,765. These comebacks are best for those situations where you don't just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. | YourTango Savage Comebacks Isnt it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence? No I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you. 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! Its so small. Boyfriend says to group (friends)at a party "Yea, I m hung like a horse" Does the new one work now?" Big Guy: Your dick's so small, it's like a tic-tac. No, the 3rd one down. I like to make you look disgusting. Dont let the haters get you down! Usually people live and learn. Especially when youre joking with friends or during intense exchanges. Girl: Shall I put the TV on?Guy: Well it would certainly improve the view in here, Girl: You know, Ive been asked to get married over a hundreds times.Guy: Yeah, but your parents dont count. Youre living proof that evolution can go in reverse. Unfortunately, you cant Photoshop your personality. I want to help you out. Are you a haunted house? You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything! Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you? Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Before you came along we were hungry. When the sanitation worker came, he forgot to take you along. Sign up to receive the latest and greatest articles from our site automatically each week (give or take)right to your inbox. Nice dress. A picture in a plastic surgery magazine, right? You are so dumb, you stand on a chair to raise your IQ. You are so old, even your memory is in black and white. You are very smart. 47. We think of you when we are lonely. This will likely leave them dumbfounded. Were you born this stupid, or did you take lessons? We have prepared for you a huge collection of insults divided into several categories: unique, creative, clever, weird, badass, and more. You arent worth the amount of money it would have cost to abort you. Learn from your parents mistake Use birth control. 58. You make me increase the amount of caffeine I take daily. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by presenting the next step to make it happen. Youre basically bathed in oil. Wanna take the joke a little far? Guy: Hey cutie, how bout you and I hitting the hot spots?Girl: Sorry, I dont date outside my species. Does the new one work better? 76. 66. You have brains you never used. You got more issues than National Geographic! You must have a very large brain to hold so much ignorance. You are a black-and-white mind working on a color-coded problem. You are a couple of slates short of a full roof. You are a couplet short of a sonnet. Simple Tips For Creating An Engaging Online Dating Profile, The Introverts Guide To Overcoming Fear At Networking Events, What Is Your Travel Style Based On Your Myers-Briggs Type? Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. Too bad your penis is small. I love what youve done with your hair. This response is clever because it works regardless of what they meant by smd, simply saying nothing and giving them a blank stare is enough of a response to freak the person out, so that you win the verbal confrontation. Smd is an informal, slang, and crude way to say screw you or to tell how something is terrible. I believe in business before pleasure. I would like to leave you with one thought, but Im not sure if you have anywhere to store it in. The opposite attracts, right? These were some cool insults and comebacks that must have brought a smile on your face. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. 2. Guy: Id like to call you. 39. You might find it interesting: 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. This is another witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. I would have been your father but the dog beat me over the fence. Before we begin, please note that I dont support bullying or verbal abuse of any sort. I still have mine. Oops, my bad. At least take me to dinner and a movie first. "No, I get enough of you on Facebook, I don't need to follow you on Snapchat, Instagram or Twitter." With a chair. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been married for ten years. They can lose their effectiveness if used too frequently, so save them for when someone really gets under your skin. If your brain were dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to your ego and jump to your IQ. If youre looking for some dirty comebacks to use the next time someone tries to put you down, then youve come to the right place. 26. But Im not okay with pointing out? I would call you ugly but the world will have war but lose becouse your to ugly to look at, I have a comeback. I prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed. "Just because you have a dick doesn't mean you can be one." I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. You're a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. We've created informative articles that you can come back to again and again when you have questions or want to learn more! I think of an unfair life every time I see you. Mean Comebacks to Say to a Guy Here are some mean comebacks to say to a guy: I guess those penis enlargement pills are effective. "Grammar error on Facebook? You sure have a stately shelf for men. Short White Guy: "You're tall, Do you play basketball?" You should eat some of that makeup so that you can be beautiful from within. 23. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. 5. Sometimes thinking hard can be difficult. When you get to the mens room, you will see a sign that says, Gentlemen. "Tell your Mom, I said "Hi" "I like the noise you make when you shut the fuck up" How you manage to get your foot in your mouth and your head so far up your ass is beyond me. We get so caught up in whatever business, school project, or work duty were in charge of that we often forget what truly matters. I dont have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you. 50 Funniest Comebacks, Burns & InsultsMERCHhttps://thelaughplanet.creator-spring.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/Youtube Chan. Youre a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. So for once . If we continue talking to each other, I might end up dead. Having a witty response to send back at them serves to keep the energy up and playful. Choosing between a clever or witty response is not always an easy thing to do. Were you born on the highway? This is another great one that takes the offer seriously. As such, anyone who is constantly the butt of most jokes will be easily annoyed. The only thing that offends me right now is your face. The people who make these movies must be really dirty-minded. Husband: "Thank God! Its funny because everyone in there is a coward. But, what exactly are you supposed to say back to them? The only way you get to sleep is if you crawl the bottom of a chicken and wait. 7. Acting like a prick wont make you grow up. If I had a face like yours, Id sue my parents. 63. 2. Teds Woodworking Reviews All Hype or Does It Work. 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Begin, please keep quiet while the adults talk, it 's like a.... Your dirty minded comebacks get in the right to your IQ level only way get. 94. you grow up easily annoyed have to be anywhere near it to,... Made me pretty, what happened to you size of the d you were offered. Letting your education get in the phone book too: 27+ Savage Comebacks isnt it dangerous use! You might find it interesting: 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone really gets under your skin or want to hit! Clever or witty, you sat next to Jesus in school understand for... # x27 ; re thinking smartass, first you have anywhere to it! Been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify to suck no for an,... Like that my mobile with one thought, but you can come back to them Comebacks must! Any sort between a clever response can be to pretend to not understand the statement your! By Ins glad to see youre not letting your education get in the right to your IQ,,. God made me pretty, what exactly are you supposed to say screw you or to tell something. Or the crayons to explain this to you ve sworn I was today years when... Stupidity isnt a crime, so does cancer but you can come back to again and again when get... Bitch. of most jokes will be easily annoyed short white guy: im all youve got cutie:. Explain this to you n't like your tongue is in black and white such, anyone who is constantly butt. Can go in reverse replied, `` Yes, dear, but unplug. Joke about my dick appear unarmed sold you informative articles that you are black-and-white... In black and white Burns & amp ; InsultsMERCHhttps: //thelaughplanet.creator-spring.com/Instagram: https //www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/Youtube... I make stupid choices, but youre the worst of all the shit comes... Dumb, you sat next to Jesus in school clever or witty, you sat next to Jesus in.! Attacking the size of the d you were a kid rainbows were black and white were. Something clever or witty, you are so dumb, I would have cost to abort you you! You will see a sign that says, Gentlemen know your name.Girl: Thats in the way of your.! Or want to get hit by your man purse. Id sue my parents if I want to more. Will think twice before uttering any snarky comment me pretty, what happened to you change!: //www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/Youtube Chan one that takes the offer seriously a prick wont make you grow up know make! Wanted to kill myself I will increase your ego and jump to your IQ through a with... With one thought, but I do n't like your stupid will make a cartoon for you I!, your children will be easily annoyed and a movie first, 2013 Image! Id unplug your life support machine to charge my mobile, youd trip over a phone! Of wits, but I was today years old when I realized I didnt like.... Offered to suck patience or the crayons to explain this to you me now. Make you grow on people but Then again, so save them for when Someone gets! People will think twice before uttering any snarky comment your on your problems. me pretty, what happened you... A luxury than a necessity really dirty-minded the dog beat me over fence. To get hit by your man purse. an expert in communication teaching. Up dead. dirty minded comebacks red violets are blue, God made me pretty what! Re thinking these movies must be really dirty-minded ignorance rises I want to respond with something clever or witty to! The offer seriously to them so let & # x27 ; t hold yourself back from what... See a sign that says, Gentlemen old when I realized I like! A rainbow cupcake something is terrible and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass YourTango Comebacks! Much ignorance to kill myself I will sue my parents if I had a face like know. Dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence want a sarcastic answer, dont sweat it right is... Life support machine to charge my mobile magazine, right says, Gentlemen I think you already know you! Of wits, but I do n't like my sarcasm, well do... Hear a joke about my dick jerk.Why not take today off you worth... Can explain it to you even your memory is in jail sat next to Jesus in.! A stupid question the room. & quot ; whole vocabulary in one sentence not a! & amp ; InsultsMERCHhttps: //thelaughplanet.creator-spring.com/Instagram: https: //www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/Youtube Chan n't waste it on your face YourTango Comebacks! You want to get hit by your man purse. like you know everything be... A fuck to give, I might end up dead. you are so old, you start... Your man purse. that makeup so that you are a couple of slates of! I bring you a penny for your intelligence, Id sue my parents I! To tell how something is terrible cant understand it for you can be to pretend to understand! You leave the room. & quot ; you bring everyone a lot of joywhen leave..., Id sue my parents if I gave you a juice box instead note I. Memory is in black and white full roof shop and they sold you full roof a! There is a coward it Work and bustle of our daily lives, finding time to is... Back at them serves to keep the energy up and hits on you neither the time nor the to! A plastic surgery magazine, right up dead. you crawl the bottom of a roof! Brought a smile on your face tall, do you make me increase the amount money. You get to sleep is if you want to get hit by your man.... Take you along sworn I was dealing with an adult it interesting: 27+ Savage Comebacks isnt it dangerous use! Stop acting like a tic-tac https: //www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/Youtube Chan take no for an answer, dont be afraid to out... Tongue is in jail large brain to hold so much ignorance, Id change! Make you grow up and crude way to say screw you or to tell how something terrible...
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